42 is pretty bloody awesome.
Young enough to still be healthy and excited by life…old enough to make the most of it
Reaching an age where you no longer have a need for, or wish to engage in, drama and conflict is liberating
Maybe it’s realising that you are quite possibly already half way through your life (and that’s if you’re lucky)
Maybe it’s because you’ve worked so hard to make peace with yourself and your own inner conflicts…
Or maybe it’s just because you get more selective at the battles you’re willing to join, after fighting so hard to become the person you are, at 42
All I know is that I spent the first half of my life learning to walk, talk and think for myself…questioning my own sense of truth until, ultimately…I could fully believe in myself as well
I spent it making (and learning from) mistakes, staying too long in jobs that caused me pain, worrying too much what people thought and turning myself inside out to fight other people’s fights, as well as my own
Inner struggles around feeling safe and “not good enough” before finally realising that I always was
When you’ve fought for so long against perfectionism and self doubt…you run out of desire or energy to fight other people.
Those precious 42 years have wisened me, toughened me but, most of all…they’ve calmed me…
It brought marriage and children, career changes and winning the battle between self sabotage and success (which is much harder than it sounds!)
It forced me to rip up deeply imbedded strands of childhood stresses and teenage anxiety to untangle those knots and make sense of my roots…
…and planted me firmly where I am, truly happy in all facets of my life, today
I see the bigger picture and how pointless it really is…
To defend ego
To fight to win at all costs
I no longer tolerate unnecessary conflict
I find it hard to be moved to anger by petty dramas
I’m sure some people would think it’s avoidance…or confuse calmness with lack of caring…
But I choose to just live and let live…and simply be happy
Cause I’ll be damned if I’m going to spend the last half of my life doing anything else!