crap I say, entertainment, humour, life, Uncategorized

A or B + C (- D?) = ENFJ

I arose from bed today aching and tired, my head pounding and basically feeling like a half baked dog poo pie, so I decided I needed to give myself the day off and do absolutely nothing…all day!

…so of course I spent the whole day doing endless personality quizzes I found on Google.

I am feeling restless (again) in my job, sales management, but not really knowing what I want to do different…and I convinced myself I would find my answer on my iPad!

They are surprisingly easy, fun and for the most part, completely bloody inaccurate

The first one had a fancy name but it was basically just Myer-Briggs in disguise. Don’t get me wrong…I love Myer-Briggs! (I am a firm believer in the wisdom of those 4 little letters) but if you’re going to rip someone off, be honest about it!

Still, it was comforting to know that after 14 years, 2 children, running my own business, moving states twice, feeling like a crap filled savoury pastry, AND….after taking the test under false pretences (that it was in fact a fancy new psychological test offering profound, previously unknown insight into “who” I am!!)…I am STILL an ENFJ.

I guess I really am then.

So, according to the wisdom of this online guru, I should probably stay in “Sales” or try teaching or HR, but avoid large corporations and the Police Department….

The next one was called the Dewey Colour System and looked really interesting as it was as simple as choosing colours you like!
I was sure I would find myself in a pot of personality GOLD at the end of this rainbow but, alas…all it did was fill my inbox with endless emails trying to convince me I should become a Dental Assistant and avoid selling as I really don’t like it. (hmmmm…probably shouldn’t pursue a career in sales then….)

I plan on doing it again and choosing different colours until I get a more suitable selection of suggested careers

A lot easier than trying to decide if I am “diligent” or “committed” (I’m sorry, isn’t that a synonym??)

or whether I am “least likely to see the big picture and spontaneously work towards it on my own in a methodical manner” or “most likely to be detail oriented but prefer not to work in a team to create the end result based on meticulous planning”

is that a trick question?

Then I took a 60 page quiz which was reassuringly lengthy and seemed to be doing a thorough job of “secretly picking” my brain…to surely reveal my innermost desires and the perfect job for me, without me having to actually go to the trouble of thinking about it and making a decision for myself.

Fantastic! Halfway through and I am feeling like Freud himself is sitting inside my iPad probing my sore head and waiting to direct my professional fate.

Until I got to question 43 which asked…

Why are you taking this quiz?:
a. I would like to find a new job in sales
b. I would like to find a new job in a technical field
c. I would like to find a new job in the police department
d. I would like to find a new job working with animals

seriously?

why did you bother asking me the other 59 questions when you were secretly planning to ask me the answer all along?

And if I knew the answer to that question…I wouldn’t be doing this God-damn quiz, I’d be wasting my well needed day off browsing SEEK instead!

That’s a half hour of my life I’ll never get back…time which (apparently) would have been much better spent applying for a job at my local Dental Surgery.

oh well. at least my headache is gone. I’m feeling much better!

maybe I should look into a career in blogging……

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