Thoughts on life

Hidden doors

I'm driving my son to work, well technically he's driving, but being on his L (learner) plates I still need to accompany him to supervise.

We're driving down a road we've travelled on many, many, many times as it's a main road that runs from our house to the city, work and uni (did I mention…many times??)

As we pulled up at the red light, my head was turned to the left, daydreaming a bit and people watching as I often do…(oh, don't worry…my son is "this close" to getting his licence and a very competent driver) when I noticed a new, tiny alley way splitting the familiar shops in two.

The cutest little narrow walkway that linked the main road to the side street behind.

It was actually jarring

WHAT? Where in the hell did that come from??!

Honestly I've lived in this city for 40 years, I've driven down (or been driven down) this road hundreds of times. Heck, I've even walked down this road and right past this section.

So when did this Harry Potter portal suddenly appear?

Truth

The alley wasn't new. Nope, it's always been there…

But I've never seen it
Because I've never actually looked

I just see the same things I always see…each and every time I travel this road

The things I expect to see

Which got me thinking…

What else aren't I seeing?
What hidden alleys, paths and doors am I missing, as I travel down the road of my life only seeing what I expect to see…what I plan to see.

If I started paying more attention and looked a little more closely to the world framing my road…could I actually find things, people, thoughts and feelings that I didn't know existed?

That I wasn't expecting

Travel the same roads if you must
Daydream all you want…

But don't forget to pay attention from time to time

You never know what you'll find

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Thoughts on life

Fear is easy

“what if I fall? Oh but my darling what if you fly?”

It’s easy to be scared

Embracing the new, leaving the old…learning to find yourself and starting again, we’ve all been there (maybe right at this moment) and let’s face it, it sucks

It’s SCARY

It calls upon relying on a strength we may not remember, fully believe or possibly even know we possess…

It’s something we are all born with but sadly many lose somewhere along the way

It’s the very thing that bonds us with caregivers and binds us to life…

trust

The simple yet elusive act of believing we are safe and that the future is too…

It’s a big word despite its minimal letters. 

Those two little constenants surrounding “you” and book ended by two humble and well-worn “t’s” is what we need to believe the next step is coming…even though we’ve lost sight of the ladder

What are we so afraid of?

Afraid to fail. Afraid to fall. Afraid of not knowing. Afraid of making the wrong choice. Afraid to be in the void. Afraid of rejection and afraid of being afraid…

But haven’t we been there before? 

Think about it…before we were old enough to be capable of questioning outcomes we believed in our “selves”. We trusted our journeys, followed our little hearts where they led us, enjoying the adventure of discovering what we liked, who we were and what made our hearts sing (or dance!)

We didn’t chastise or question ourselves if our favourite colour changed from green to yellow, our preference for playing soccer turned to football or we decided we simply preferred English to Math.

We trusted our instincts and our choices, trusted the path we were finding ourselves on and believing with childlike innocence that it would lead us to our future selves…one day

What if we still allowed ourselves this perspective on new beginnings?

Saw ourselves not as adults who question and worry, adults who are afraid to “start again” but instead as children who are still on our trusted journey, which is bound to change but which we still allow ourselves to be simply and happily on regardless!

What if we think of ourselves in this way?
…it actually isn’t easier to be afraid…it’s in fact much more natural and effortless to trust.

To continue on the path we’ve always been walking…allowing the wisdom of adulthood to help, not hinder, the journey.

But, what if I fall???

“Oh but my darling…

…what if you FLY!!”

life, Poetry

Why aren’t we dancing?

Life is a journey, and we are all travellers

We enter the world with nothing but a small nap sack. Empty, save for our innocent souls…

Perfect and perfectly free.

New and alive, we listen to the sounds of our world.

Dancing, smiling, always free…

Our bodies grow and we become aware. Aware of our presence. Aware of our nakedness.

We find things we need to clothe our naked bodies and protect our vulnerable selves from the cold and dangerous new world we find ourselves in.

Tiny feet and hands need little shoes and gloves, the rocks under our feet kept at bay by rubber shields while precious fingers are protected from the cold.

Layers are worn, they keep us safe, warm and covered. Sometimes we are comfortable enough to choose soft gossamer threads, barely there layers, safe just as we are…

At times we have no choice, but to choose leather. Threatened, scared, cold and alone we put on heavy coats of protection.

Under the weight of our safety we dance less and less…

As limbs extend past infant sleeves so too must the layers change. Like a tree outgrowing its supple bark, it splits and curls, peeling to finally fall. Leaving a prefect new trunk, bigger and stronger but somehow still new…freed from the weight of all that dead bark, the tree begins to blossom.

The tree has no fear of letting go, but we do…

Clasping onto our too tiny layers, for fear of revealing what’s beneath, we tuck them into our nap sacks, add another layer, and continue on our journey.

Sometimes we hold on so tightly we simply put the new layers on top over of the ones already there, layers we no longer need.

Many times, many layers. Bulky and restricting.

Heavy knapsacks thrown over weighted shoulders, we trudge along our path. Never able to extend our branches. Feet barely shuffling, head bowed under the burden we carry.

Uncomfortable and pained. Shallow breath. Eyes closed.

Though the universe may send us sweet music on the winds, we are unable to dance…

* * *

But what if we could shed those layers? Empty out the burgeoning nap sack?

With the weight surrendered we would look up to the sky, take a deep breathe, and skip lightly down the road…

Free

We would stretch out strong limbs that desire to feel the sun
We would feel nothing but the wind on our skin
We would remember the lightness of our souls….

and dance!