I’m a perfectionist
Most days I hover somewhere halfway between “order really pleases me” and full blown Rain Man and on those especially neurotic days even I can’t quite believe my inability to cope with change and disorder
It’s normal to notice spelling mistakes in books and professional publications, right?
Common to order your wardrobe by type of clothing first and length of sleeve/hem etc next…no?
Keep lists of the lists you need to create?
Plan everything down to such detail that you could probably organise your own funeral today, if hit by a bus yesterday??
Down right sensible to insist on eating in the same restaurant every single time an opportunity to eat our arises? (Yes??)
I noticed this oddly placed picture of a pea…in an awesome new restaurant I agreed to try, only because it was 2 hours away from my usual preference due to a work trip…which was not aligned properly to the cow
(The pea that is, not the trip)
It bothered me significantly due to its complete lack of respect for the layout of the wall
Total disregard for the pattern created by the 15 other picture frames that knew exactly where to hang in order to create an aesthetically pleasing abstraction of art…
Which made me realise something
There’s a safety that comes from knowing what is coming next, keeping tabs on where something is and that comfortable feeling you get when things line up, follow the rules and just bloody well “fit”
Feelings don’t do this
Feelings are fleeting and fickle, follow no format and can’t be framed.
They surprise you and surpass you and sometimes they leave you shaken, unsure and exposed.
This inner world is contained yet uncontainable
And I both love it and fear it.
Avoid it and crave it!
This wild untameable freedom of spontaneity and reckless abandon
The rebel with no applause
She who rides the
wave of feeling and emotion, free from the constraints
construct and co-operation, compliance and conformity
Free to hang wherever she damn well pleases, for her own enjoyment, not the satisfaction of others or simply just to follow the “plan”
Very much like the pea picture that really should have known better and just lined up and fit in
I think I actually like that little pea